Naked gardening

Backroad Ramblings

I must start with an apology. 

I missed it, I blew it and I profusely apologize to those of you who were counting on me to keep you informed. Sadly, “Naked Gardening Day” is past and I didn’t let you know so you could take part.

Of course, you might not be completely distraught over this. After all, Naked Gardening Day is the first Saturday in May and if I remember right that day was rainy, wet, cold and miserable. Not a day to enjoy in your birthday suit.

The whole point of Naked Gardening Day is that if you plant your garden naked, it will be healthier and more attractive. I don’t know if that works for gardens, but I’m sure there are a lot of people who are much more attractive when they’re not naked. 

And as for being healthier, after planting all day on a rainy, cold day, nobody is going to be the picture of health. Besides that, if you were driving down the road and saw somebody planting a garden stark naked, you’d stare, you’d rubberneck, and then you’d crash into the nearest power pole. Within minutes, ten more cars would be wrapped around yours. Healthy? I don’t think so. If you ask me, naked gardening could be downright dangerous.

I suppose if you are the hardy type and really want to get in touch with nature this way, you could. However, nature is not always a gentle, lovely thing. Nature can make mud that dries your skin or wind that chaps…everything. Nature can be really, really hot or really, really cold. Nature involves curious animals and itchy plants.

So yeah, you could really get in touch with Nature by gardening naked, but you might not enjoy the experience. Although the neighbors might get a great laugh out of it.

So, if you missed Naked Gardening day, I’m sorry. At least I’m sorry about not telling you about it. I’m not a bit sorry about not doing it. After all, there has been a lot of gardening done with clothes on and those gardens turned out perfectly fine. 

I’d just like to know if gardening naked actually does make a garden grow better. Call me a sceptic, but I’ll bet it doesn’t hold a candle to Miracle-Gro.


More In Opinion